How to Find Love and Happiness in your 40s

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You may be glad to know that finding love when you are 40 or above is definitely possible. Unfortunately, many people can find it hard to muster up the courage and strength to move on at such an old age. The fact of the matter is that once you get past your apprehensions and anxieties, you will be able to find love once again. If not love, then at least you will have somebody to bed for a night or two; maybe even multiple partners.

Sexual relations aside, actually getting past these mental and psychological obstaclescan be easier said than done most times. It’s easy to read and stomach, even more so to imagine all the things you want to do at your age, but actually going out on the prowl can be an entirely different matter if you aren’t already a Casanova. With that reality check, here are some common problems and tips you can take with you to your next date.

Something In The Way

With longer average life expectancies, the silver lining of living longer has proven tohave its downsides. Even in your 40’s, you may end up divorced, separated, single, or just plain alone; when you don’t do something about it, you may find yourself even lonelier as time goes on. It might not be immediately apparent now, but even the single lifestyle can end up boring.

That’s not to say the single lifestyle won’t have its perks on some occasions, even when you are 40. The simple opportunity to expand your romantic horizons can reveal some pleasant surprises, even if you do find the common obstacles in your way.

Some of these “obstacles” can take many shapes and forms:

  • The things you might have done before you were ever married may end up hard to jump back into. Flirting, romancing, casual encounters and even dating in general can now seem like a daunting and insurmountable task.
  • Appearing in front of total strangers may bring back memories of rejection, or even just anxiety and nervousness at the very least. Again, jumping back into the dating circuit after years of monogamy can deliver a shock to the system.
  • If you have recently lost a spouse, it may also be fear-inducing to think of what you want now; do I want to marry again? Do I just want to have crazy sex with as many partners as I can to try and fill the void?

The answer to these problems is simple: Life simply goes on when you don’t have a spouse around anymore. You are probably not the only person single at your age, so confide in the fact that you will find love, even after you are 40 years old. It’s true; there
are many like you out there. You just need to know where to look, and arm yourself with the right mindset to go out there and mingle again.

So when you finally decide to gather yourself and your thoughts, take heed of a few handy tips:

  • If you are 40 or older, and have been separated, divorced or widowed, then you should find out if there really is a void that needs filling. This will help you determine what you desire from a potential encounter.
  • With age comes experience, so you should also determine which parts of your life are up for negotiation. Firm beliefs in religion, politics, family, sex and love may end up going right out the window when you end up getting serious again.
  • Know where you would like to be, and what you want to be when you decide to date again. Since you are older, you may feel insecure that your time is growing thin; perhaps it may be time to break free and get out of your comfort zone.
  • Common interests can also be a great way to hit it off with other singles your age, but remember that an appealing personality can be just as inviting as common hobbies. It’s not only what a person likes; it’s also what a person is like.

Even with some helpful advice in mind, you should take a little time off to gather the strength and willpower to prevail and conquer your loneliness once again.

Where To Look?

After mustering up the courage to finally find love again at 40, you may be surprised yet again at how many avenues there are to get with a potential mate your age.

  • The internet now has many, many dating sites for a single to choose from. Some are even geared towards people of particular age groups, and the 40-above crowd is one of them. Just be careful not to delve into this world too fast; keep your sensitive personal and financial information close to your chest until things get really serious after meeting somebody online.
  • Of course, not everybody is technologically adept, so going out to bars and clubs might be more suitable. You might also be surprised at how many clubs and events that lonely 40-somethings frequent on a nightly basis.
  • If insecurity does end up getting the best of you, then try to hook up with somebody you have known in the past. You might not be the only one in your circle of close friends who ends up lonely after40; many older couples end up as a result of old friends and flames getting back together again.
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